Happy Birthday!~!

Opps! I forget to celebrate your birthday!~!~~ Time really fly since the first day I blog in here.. it's been 3 years with 223 numbers of blog to date... What have I been blogging??? I have so much rubbish to talk about meh?? No idea and don't want to go back and look at it... for what I know it has been a 3 years of roller coaster ride... you have document my happy moment and my sad ones too... and when the day I decided to look back at you... I know I will have a good laugh at my old self... how some time one can be so foolish... in the name of LOVE...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!~!~

Aquarius love trait...

Your positive traits: You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people. You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie. You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits: In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway. You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret. You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved. Your ideal partner: Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise! Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests...
including you. A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style: Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style: Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next. Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires. Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future: Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates! Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once. Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.

Best color to attract mate: Sky blue

Best day for a date: Wednesday

I want some space....

Suddenly, I want some space of my own... I wanted my own personal space... my own quiet moment, my own time to do my own stuff and not with anyone... I suddenly felt that my own space is getting smaller... constantly been filled up with him lately and my friends... just suddenly felt cornered that when can I do the things I wanted to do?? when will he listen to what I'm talking? When will he be paying attention of how I feel at times? I wanted my OWN SPACE!~!~ Perhaps I have been alone for sometime that suddenly another person gets into my life and I'm seems lost... lost of how to balance him with my work, with my own space... suddenly he seems to occupy the whole space that I once claim is mine... no longer I can have a breathing space of my own... every one space he wanted to be in it... sometime is not that I don't want him to tag alone... just that sometime I just want to have my own space.. own moment with my friends to gossip about him, to gossip about other guys, to gossip about each other... but this space seems to get smaller.... my own private space at home is already very small... a space for me to spend quiet moment to read has to be shared with my mum fearing that if I read too late I will disturb her sleep... my private space to watch what I want, my favourite movie is near possible... with only a shared TV set in the living.... the freedom to sleep late is often followed by the constant nagging of my mum.... so where can I have my OWN SPACE- my own freedom to do what I wanted to do....

After been with him for awhile....I wonder a person who loves himself.. will he be able to see the person he loved, how she felt, listen to what she talk and understand what she is talking about.... the answer is very difficult..... sometime, I just felt that he don't listen to what I'm talking about... sometime he don't understand how I feels... what I felt is he cared about how he feels, what he wants and what he wants to talk.... nothing is more important apart from him.... even thought he says that isn't the case... but that's how I felt at times... for instance, I asked him to help me rent my book and wasn't feeling too good when he decline it, because he felt it is too rush for him to go for his gym.... I wonder what does a 15-20 min delay have on his training session??? A muscle lesser to grow out from the many other muscle he has?? Not blaming... anyway it's my book not his... not his problem, it's my problem. I have learn to be emotionally, spiritually independent from people especially to the one I love... partially I know that one day if I depend on them too much... and if everything falls... I will be left alone feeling empty... so even now... I never intend to depend on him on anything... I never know what will happen.... fallen angel meant to walk on the ground she fall... she shall not fly to heaven.. as heaven never has a place for her. God send her an angel, but she shall not be tempted... or she will be burn... I will always remember I'm a fallen angel banish from heaven...

Well, I'm not complaining because we hardly know each other, having known a few months does not necessary understand each others... we are in fact from two different social background... living in two different life previously... never knew the other party exist till we met each other one fine day... you might not even fully understand your best friend who you have know for ages,likewise someone you just know for a few months.... time is needed... and I hope in time he can understand how I feel, really listen to what I'm talking about... likewise I will get to know him more....

Today I guess is one of the days.... that I'm felt too much... the kind of day I felt that I have push to a corner to shout out loud of how I feel....PMS-ing....

Spa gateaway!~!

RASA SENTOSA!!~!~

The weekend spa gateaway at Rasa sentosa was a good pit-stop for me... every thing become a stand still-just only me and him... it been a busy, tiring and not forgetting painful 3 month in the previous production and was so look forward for the weekend break. The spa is very relaxing... but I still perfer the javanese or the thai massage.. more painful, and stretch more of my tense muscles. This aroma-massage is very soft but relaxing, almost fall asleep on the warm massage bed....zzzzZZZZzz... and 1hour massage pass so FAST~!~~! Just when I was about to enjoy myself.... ke ke

We had a paranomic room that over look the sea-view.. beautiful!~!~! almost want to fall asleep when I slowly sip my glass of wine and the sea breeze... but can't because there was alot of noise coming from the beach that spoilt the mood!~!~. I think they have some sort of dinner or bazaar organised by hitachi and there are alot of indians there also!~!~~!

View from the hotel room

We also visit the underwater and the song of the sea! Really enjoy song of the sea- nice firework, fire and water display. but the song is just too crappy - "singapura, oh singapura.. sunny island set in the sea....".

Visit the underwater world... as I always have free entry when I go for recee and filming I hardly notice that the entry fee has gone up to $19.90!~! So expensive!~~! but at least they add in need exhibition such as the crab!~! I love it, look at the size and length of those legs!~!!!!

When we are there it happen to be feeding time and look at the stingray muching his fish!~!~ Nasty.... but I hope I have a chance to swim with them... I guess is every diver's dream to swim with these gentle creature of the sea.

Rain... been raining and raining since the moment I step on the island, but lucky it din't dampled my holday mood!~! ke ke ~!~ thats the reason why I like rain....rain is beautiful... its nice to walk in the rain once in awhile... the sound of rain... the smell of rain... it can be happy...

on the tram to underwater world

After the underwaterworld, we visit the fort silso.... I seldom want to go there becoz I find it errie inside those tunnels... always give those creep- the smell, the stale air... but I was surprise they did some renovation to it and add a few new exhibitions to it making it more interesting compared to the last time I visit.... hmmmm when is the last time I visit... Anyway, I still jump whenever the sound pop up... well can't help... its scary in there.... it is a place of history....

Okay... vacation is OVER!~! time to start working... soon it will get busy as the pace for the production starts.... on september.... happy to be back to office... today we went to Miao yi to eat, miss the food there!~! best vegetarian food!~! What a good start for the first day of work!

Well, I pretty afraid of how things will turn up when my shoot starts... I will totally have no time for myself, to sleep... even to say to have the strength to maintain the r/s... will it be the same as the last time- things will grow apart... distance... really don't want to think about it... I truly believe after been through so much... if the person beside you can't be supportive for your work... he can't be supportive in your life next time... he can't be supportive in anything... coz all he think is himself... and in a r/s its all about two person... and not he/me alone only...

I wish I can feel...and i'm starting to feel...

Someone recently just entered my life... someone that has been hurt many times but yet none of it stop him to lose faith in love or afraid to love someone again.... Met him in a forum that I have been visiting frequently at the beginning of the year during my confinement at home. For the past months, we only chat in the forum and msn but only get to see him on one of the forum girl birthday a few months back. Since then, he has been dating me to go cycling, visit the museum, dinner, movies, etc... I didn't suspect any thing as sometime I do catch movie with one of my guy friend who like artistic film, etc and are all very close to them too. And, he has many good friends which are female too. So I thought he treat me like any other of her good friend as we have many interest that alot of people find it stupid to do - go picnic, visit the museum, etc.

So now he has entered my life... but yet I'm so afraid.. in fact more afraid than he is... although he had more past than I do... more hurt than I do... but yet he is more giving, more loving... although I know but none I can feel... so afraid to commit... so afraid to give... so afraid to love... afraid that in the end it will be all taken away from me, leaving me empty and lost again...

He is kind... never rushing... always telling me to go with the flow... don't think too much about the past- if I think I have bad experience with my past r/s, he had worst ones that haunt him for a year. Every step I take he ensure me... I'm feel like a baby taking the first step... should I follow his footstep?

We had a wonderful picnic during National day... I got a picnic basket from yahoo auction for $15 with 4 sets of plates, cups and cutleries. And, we got smoked salmon, parma ham, beef, cheese, fruits, bread... together with qi, ying, his friend-CW and we find a nice spot at ECP to enjoy the feast!! To add to the highlight is the apache and the national flag and not forgetting the firework display!~!~ Everything is perfect and nice!~!~ really want to thank him for setting up this special day....

I want to thank him for sending my dinner all the way from bedok after my long tiring work... my favorite bar chow mee!~~~~!

But I hope its not honeymoon period... I hope these moment will stay for long... I hope it won't end....

It's OVER~~!

I almost can't contain my excitement that finally its OVER!~!~~ after 2 months of shitty work yesterday is the last day of the shoot... as each hour slowly tick to its last shot of the day! It has been a 'up and down' production but all I can say that I love the crew and host! Without them, I think the shoot is unbearable. Each of them bring laughter to the set... laughing our way through the painful long hour shoot and time seems to travel faster with the laughter and joy.

Now is all the tidy up of the set, returning stuff to the sponsors, etc and it will be over... going to move back to my office!~~ Working on a Ch8 drama this time round and bringing along two of my current colleagues over to help out. Yeah!~~~~!~ very excited and yet stress coz I'm going to be the 1st AD and I have no idea how many episode am I taking on. But I'm sure, no matter what its more fun than working over there than now!!!~!~

It's funny that after all is over, so little to talk about... I guess I submit to all the rubbish, stupidity of these people already... I have low tolerance for such people... and little respect... is not that I have been in this industry long enough to know every thing... just that they are those kind of the people that I will not want to learn from - the way they work, etc. For example, a 2 min. segment they shoot like 4hours of 1 & 1/2 hours of tapes!~! For god sake it is 2min only.... choosing footage is already alot to look at to shrink it down to 1 & 1/2 hours of footage... And also the incident of the cut coconut! He insist to cut the coconut and I told him that he is not going to use it due to the duration of the segment. Why waste the time of cutting the coconut which going to take forever and you only will be seeing in like 30sec and its not easy to open a coconut?

The more I talk about it the more angry I get.... suffer from gastric for days... for his stupid decision and he still blame it on me! We are late for 30min. of shoot due to some people who change the final script and not telling us or give us a new copy of the script. Even so, base on my schedule we are due to finish the shoot by 3.30pm with lunch! But instead, he says want to go for recee so we should just shoot through lunch and have a late lunch at 2pm! At first I don't agree, which I know that base on his speed... it will be very late till he finish. So since its very rush for ep6 which we need to do recee for next week, I say okay. ANd, guess what... we shoot past lunch and way PAST LUNCH till 4.30pm!~~ Without feeling bad about torturing the people who helped us, nor suggest to treat them for lunch... he come and blame on me about been late in the morning! And say he didn't approve of such a shoot schedule! @!#%^$$ him... Plus the next day, I was feeling very bad I can't go for the recee.. but I have no choice to turn up as no one can go to the recee as no one speaks mandarin in the group! And then, he still got the guts to ask me lately you burp alot, stomach alot of wind?... I simply look pass him and wanted to ignore his question - its gastric juice!~~

Okay... enough of all the complain... I believe all my friends have had enough of my whining and complaining for the past months... Thank God everything is OVER!~~ HISTORY!~~ GAME OVER!~ THE END!~~~

* p.s. I'm surprise that there are people reading my blog, apart from the usually people like yun,wei,LH,qi which I know of my blog... are you all my friends, anonymous people???